Taking stock: December 2014.

I know. I know. It’s been a while since I checked in. My best intentions of fortnightly posts were way laid by lovely family visitors from overseas, catching up with things around the garden and house, and sleep deprivation. So, so, so much sleep deprivation. As a result, all of my inspiration has gone MIA, along with my ability to string together a sentence that remotely makes sense. You know, ones with words in the right order and ideas that link together and aren’t too abstract or random. It’s been so bad that my boy keeps accusing me of smoking pot.

So, to ease back into it, I’m borrowing this idea from Katie180 and Vegie Mama, who borrowed it from Meet Me at Mike’s. Feel free to borrow it too. I don’t think they’d mind.

It’s called ‘taking stock’ and it might make a regular appearance here. It involves thinking about things like where you are, what you’re feeling and thinking, and what you’ve been doing. It’s nice to do from time to time, and especially nice to do at the end of a year. Here’s mine. 

• Making: Green smoothies again. Actually, my smoothies are more brown than green, because of all of the cacao I add to them, but there’s plenty of greens in there.
• Cooking: Lots of veggies and fruit to freeze for Little Red’s meals. Not much else because it’s getting too hot to cook.
• Drinking: Fizzy water. Herbal tea. Irish whiskey. Hot chocolate. Sometimes in that order. Sometimes I mix it up a little.
• Reading: My reading pile is so high and ever increasing. It taunts me every day. I thought that my maternity leave would be spent gardening, reading, writing, studying and drinking lots of tea. Ah, no. Surprisingly, babies take up A LOT of time. When I get a chance to read, I’m usually reading baby books. At the moment, Buddhism for mothers.
• Wanting: Sleep first. Tea second. Please and thank you.
• Looking: For a recipe for a nice Christmas cake to make for my vegan neighbours. That or I’ll just buy them wine.
• Playing: Peek-a-boo and the ‘rah’ game, which are essentially the same thing. I used to play them with the cats. Now I play them with Little Red.
• Deciding: Whether to have a nap in the few minutes more that Little Red will be asleep or finish this blog.
• Wishing: People could just be nice to each other, regardless of religion or race or nationality or skin tone or shape or size. I’m really feeling for Sydney siders and the hostages’ families. Why do some people feel the need to hurt others? It makes no sense to me. I really want to slap some sense into them. I mean, sit down sensibly and quietly discuss it with them over a nice pot of chamomile tea.
• Enjoying: The cool breeze on my skin. The sound of the wind in the trees. Blue skies with white clouds. A bliss ball and green(y brown) smoothie.
• Waiting: For Christmas, so Little Red and my boy can open the pressies I got them, which are pretty cool, even if I say so myself.
• Liking: Paleo bars. My new addiction. I heart the Brazillian and Ginger ones. I just wish they weren’t so crumbly (or expensive). 
• Wondering: How I can convince my boy to come on holiday with me in June next year to celebrate me finishing uni. He wants to go away in February to chill in Byron Bay, and we’re going to Europe in December for Christmas with my brother and his family. Is three holidays a year too much? I say no. Our bank account and his boss might argue otherwise. But where there’s a will, there’s a way… Right?
• Loving: The sleep guru who has been helping us with Little Red – Anita from Sleep Gems. I highly recommend her. Anita’s tips and training are helping Little Red to sleep better at night and during the day. Which means I’ve started to get more time out and rest in the past few days. Last night was the closest thing we’ve come to her sleeping through the night in almost five months. I’m still exhausted, mind you, but I’ll catch up on sleep soon enough if this continues.
• Pondering: Whether or not to put up our Christmas decorations.
• Considering: Making myself a cup of tea. But to do that, I need to go into the kitchen. Little Red’s bedroom is right off the kitchen. Making tea will make noise. You see where I’m going with this.
• Watching: So exciting – Downton Abbey season 5. Hot off the UK presses and delivered to my door. Death comes to Pemberly is also getting screen time.
• Hoping: The Feliway diffuser arrives soon and helps to chill out the cats a bit. I dislike cleaning up cat wee and having foil on the couch to stop them scratching it.
• Marvelling: At how Little Red holds my hand. Her little, pudgy, soft, warm fingers wrap around mine and her thumb strokes them. I can feel the tiny lines and wrinkles in the palm of her hand and on the joints of her fingers. She holds my hand so tight and trustingly. It melts my heart. Every. Single. Time. I still can’t believe we made her. And she’s growing up SO FAST.
• Needing: See ‘Wanting’ above. Sleep. Tea. Oh, and more time.
• Smelling: Summer – warmth and grass and trees and flowers.
• Wearing: What I call my happy pants. You know, big, baggy bohemian pants with elastic at the waist and ankles. Not too dissimilar to MC Hammer pants but in better colours and with hippy patterns. Them and a singlet top are pretty much my summer maternity leave uniform. (Add a hoodie and slippers and you have my winter maternity leave uniform too.) I’m super stylish.
• Following: The lives and loves of the people of Downton Abbey. Sometimes I think I was born in the wrong era and should be living in a castle, with dashing, wealthy, well-suited men courting me over luncheon, despite me being married to my boy (who would be an Earl or something similar, of course). I’d have plenty of time to prune my roses while wearing a long flouncy dress and jewels that my maid helped me put on, sipping brandy-spiked tea. Then I realize I would have probably been married off at 18 and had multiple children in quick succession (goodbye pelvic floor), and quite possibly be dead at my age. So it’s not all bad in the here and now really.
• Noticing: The little things. Like how soft Little Red’s skin and hair are, the colour and shape of her eyes, the patterns in the clouds, the colour of the sky, new flowers in the garden, the scent of roses, how good herby tea tastes.   
• Knowing: How blessed I am, with my friends and family, home, community, lifestyle, education, employment and freely available chocolate and tea.
• Thinking: Of visiting my colleagues and taking them some festive cheer in the form of a box of chocolates or cookies. Or both.
• Admiring: My garden. It’s flourishing at the moment – full of green leaves and flowers, birds, bees, fruits and vegetables. I can’t keep up with it. I just hope I didn’t plant my summer veggies too late and still get some produce.
• Sorting: Resources and reference material for my return to uni in two months. I have a lot to prepare, it’s a little scary. (Actually, I haven’t really started – but I will start sorting them out soon…)
• Buying: Nada. I’ve spent up big the past few weeks on Christmas presents and bits and pieces. Now I’m taking a break.
• Getting: Excited about going back to uni to complete the final subject in my course. It’s been six years in the making and I love learning stuff. I’m such a nerd. Also a little scared about what I’ll do once I’m finished it...
• Bookmarking: Healthy chocolate brownie recipes. Sleep tips for babies.
• Disliking: Violence and anger and negativity. It’s not nice.
• Opening: A letter from Laxmi that arrived. She wrote it in pink and drew a picture of a house and water pump. It’s so sweet.
• Giggling: At Little Red’s dance moves. She bops away to anything and nothing, her entire body bouncing up and down while seated, breastfeeding, eating, lying down... Then she claps and shakes her head manically. Sometimes we think she’s possessed.
• Feeling: Tired, kinda hungry and in need of tea.
• Snacking: On nuts and dark chocolate, and hundreds of beautiful raspberries that are falling off the bushes in my garden. Home-grown berries taste COMPLETELY different to shop-bought ones. In the time I’ve been writing this, I’ve eaten about two punnets of berries. (Definitely not snacking on spoons of the organic unsalted peanut butter I bought from the farmers’ market with honey on top. That would be uncouth.)
• Coveting: The idea of sleep and having time to do me things (or just things).
• Wishing: For sleep. And more peace and love and understanding in the world. Actually, maybe love isn't all you need. Maybe sleep is all you need. I know how cranky I am when I don't get enough of it. Maybe if world leaders and war mongers got more shut eye, they'd be a bit more tolerant and the world would be a better place.
• Helping: A friend in need. I gave her a box of goodies including wine, chocolate, tea and rescue remedy. Do you actually need anything else in life?
• Hearing: The wind in the trees. Birds chirping. Cars driving in the distance. My neighbour’s door slamming. Someone doing renovations. Dogs barking. It’s so peaceful in the ‘burbs.